The Drunkard's Hoe
by Princess Rena
Summary: Have you ever wondered about that girl walking along the tracks in FH and the man sitting on the stoop near her? Well...*points to title* now you know...


(A/N - I'm truly reaching with this one, folks. For those of you who read my Quest for the Key story, just know that I've not given up, I'm just taking a short *cough* vacation. I have another chapter almost ready for uploading. Now, as for this story, it's rated kind of harshly. There's some *hints*, but no smut. *collective "AWWWW!" from the audience* Sorry, guys ^^;;; As always, I invite you to read and review, and also as always, I don't own squat. Now, enjoy "The Drunkard's Hoe"! ^_^)  
  
Squall, Rinoa, and Irvine were wandering down the dusty train tracks of Fisherman's Horizon one night. Squall kicked a small rock with the tip of his boot, sighing, discontentedly. "Nothing ever happens," he muttered.  
  
"Wow, Squall, you must be REALLY bored! That's the most grammatically complicated sentence you've put together since I've known you!" Rinoa shouted, her voice filled with wondrous delight. This emotion was met with an angry scowl from Squall.  
  
"Quite frankly, I find your foolish boredom unfounded," Irvine said, in his most upright and moral accent. However, his hoe radar abolished his "prim and proper" act. He turned and whistled. "Whose little girl are YOU?"  
  
A tall, brown haired girl was strutting up to them, wearing a tight, black leather dress. "Her name is Trixie," a drunken voice responded. The group's attention was turned to a drunkard sitting on the stoop in front of the hotel.  
  
"Trix ain't just for kids, ya know!" Trixie said with a smile. Irvine's smile grew so wide, it looked as if the jaw would dislocate itself.  
  
"You little."Rinoa said, fuming. She grabbed Irvine's arm and shook him violently, "Snap out of your hoe-induced trance, cheese grader!"  
  
"Did you just call him.cheese grader?" Squall asked with an inquisitive look.  
  
Rinoa shrugged, "It was the first thing to come to my mind. Now let's get out of here. We don't need to be hanging out with this skank."  
  
"I dunno, we're bound to be hanging out with a skank anyway." Squall started. The rest of his sentence was never known, for Rinoa hit him smartly in the back of the head.  
  
"I don't know why I put up with this. I'm more or less the most powerful woman in the world, and I could kill ALL of you with a single sweep of my hand. Why don't I, then? Why don't I simply raise a hand, and extend my wrath upon you mere mortals? Why don't I fulfill my desti-eh?" Rinoa's tirade came to an abrupt end when she saw Squall making out with Trixie. "What the???" Rinoa whipped out her pinwheel and raised it menacingly. "Squall, I'm warning you. Step away from the hoe, or you will face serious consequences." Squall pulled away from the hoe's receiving lips.  
  
"Just a second, Rinoa, I'm getting to the best part," Squall muttered, enraptured. Rinoa squealed in anger, and was about to take off Squall's head when a booming voice was heard.  
  
"Step away from my hoe!" the drunkard who had been previously seated on the steps slurred. He hobbled over to the group.  
  
"Heh heh heh heh. Your hoe, huh, buddy? How much?" Irvine whispered, taking out his pocket book, and pulling out a few Gil. "30?"  
  
Trixie gasped indignantly, Squall giggled, Irvine grinned, Rinoa fumed, and the drunkard pulled out a double-barreled, sawed off shotgun. "Dontcha ever insult my hoe ever again, you hear me?" the drunkard shot into the air, as if proving his point. To reinforce the embarrassing moment, Trixie whapped Irvine and Squall both angrily on the back of the head, "humphed" and continued on down the tracks. The drunkard stalked after her, uttering a few choice words directed to the guys.  
  
"Have you learned your lesson?" Rinoa asked, taking each guy by the ear, and pulling them away.  
  
"Definitely," Squall managed to mumble despite the pain, "Never try to purchase a hoe with your girlfriend and the pimp nearby." Needless to say, Squall slept on the couch that night. 


End file.
